james schmitt whats your last name

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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who farted? umm........that guy.

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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haha.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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