What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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Get in the van

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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Water, please.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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