Real jokes.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

newt gingrich

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

Womens Rights.

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

cot!

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

Women's rights.

I don't get it

Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

Oh. So his name's Brandon.

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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