how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's your name? You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's not red? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

the chicken whent boomand then died

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops