What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Jewish People

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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beiber i straight

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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Please don't rape me.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Penis jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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