- Anti Joke

Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

Osama Bin Laden dies.

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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