Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

womens rights!

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

A horse walks into a bar...n

Nah

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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