Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Tim's gay.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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