What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

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Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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Haha

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Is Carly smart? No.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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