How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

how does peploe get around they walk

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

I cant think of one (._. )

lewis bedford

jewish people like other jewish people.

Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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