What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

thumb_up thumb_down

I can't think of a joke!

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down

No.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black person in the NHL

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops