What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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An Irishman stays home

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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