Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

minorities.

what do you call a cup?... a cup

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

A black guy walks in to a bar.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

Women rights..

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...