Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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alcoholism kills

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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minorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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