Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

thumb_up thumb_down -43

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -93

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops