Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Women's rights.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Gadaffi

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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