A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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W.N.B.A.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Baseball

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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