What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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W.N.B.A.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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