A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Women's Golf

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops