Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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you are gay

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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