What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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nbjhfghl

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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whats gay ? you

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Real jokes.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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