Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Black people

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo mama so fat she died

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

thumb_up thumb_down +18

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops