why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

steves legs

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

A horse walks into a bar...n

Whats Funnier than 24?........ 25

want to go home? yea

DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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