What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Amputations.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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