If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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nice shorts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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