Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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George W. Bush

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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The glass is half an hour.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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sixty....eight.

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What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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