What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

World peace

Jewish People

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

how does peploe get around they walk

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...