I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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