How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Ben is gay

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Mmmm, donuts

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Womens rights

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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