28

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

thumb_up thumb_down

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

25

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops