What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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Women Drivers.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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