Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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What do you find....... there's a..........

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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but there is a road to the super market

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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I dislike old people.

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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