- Anti Joke

Knock knock Come in!

what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

Your mum is dead

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

Knock knock Who's there? FBI

what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

penis

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

Write your own

Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

Working hard or hardly working????

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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