Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. F uck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Frown is a four letter word.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This post contains NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

noodles

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops