Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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barack osama

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Ben is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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