Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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