a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

What's 1+1? 4.

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

My sister has to take a dump

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

Women's Golf

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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