Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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The geese of Growmore

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops