Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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