Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Icecream

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

i hate you.

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

What does a man like. food.

What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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