when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

A mexican goes to an ATM.

A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

Dear John,

Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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