Dear John,

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So dont touch it

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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drugs.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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