Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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