so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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SPAMS!!!

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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69

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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