What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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W.N.B.A.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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Womens rights

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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