Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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