Why don't you have a seat, over there?

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

Your mom.

Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

your moms so fat she has kankles

Guess what? Chicken butt

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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