What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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Why Because

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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Ben is gay

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Freedom of Speech

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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