Fruitcake

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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this website...

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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