what did the duck say to the dog. quack

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Child Prostitution.

drugs.

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

whats round and like a ball a ball

Niko isnt a mexican douche

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

69

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

Fruitcake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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