Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Thumbs this up

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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69

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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